One of the more painful symptoms of a hole in the soul is that of the dark mind. When we awake our minds kick in and flood us with waking thoughts about our past, present and immediate future. Some people’s minds work for them and create healthy ideas, solutions and positive outlooks. If you suffer from an undernourished or starving spirit, however, you will experience only the horrors of a dark mind. On awakening your dark mind presents you with past failures, mistakes and negative experiences. It fills your present day outlook with misgivings and certain disasters adding to the sense of unhappiness and dis-ease you feel – and you have not even got out of bed. As you go to brush your teeth the volume of your dark mind gets worse as it gains more power the more awake you become. By the time you have finished brushing your teeth you are suicidal. You plough on as best you can and get dressed and go to the kitchen to get a coffee or breakfast. By now you are feeling angry at your mind’s mental assault and the feelings generated.
The anger turns inwards and by the time you reach the front door you hate your life: your boss: your parents:and if there is a God you hate it as well. Life sucks. Throughout the day you have zero chance of attaining any sort of joy or happiness as your mind comes with you everywhere you go. It tells you everybody is looking at you, or they dislike you, or they are talking down about you. If anyone is actually nice to you it has to be because they are being false or want something.
Mind Speak, Rumination & Torture
The mental chatter constantly berates you: if only you were better in some area or had more confidence or skill – essentially if you were anybody else but you – the mind bleats on through your own personal radio gloom in your head. When you do put effort into being positive or attempt to picture something nice about you or others the mind spews out its dark negativity all over your imagination infecting it with negative false forecasts and outcomes. It is akin to having your own personal – 24 hours a day – persecutor in your own head.
Rumination, (obsessive thinking about past negative experiences), and mental darkness about oneself and one’s life occur (the exceptions being cases of diagnosed mental illness) when the mind’s fuel supply from the spirit is diminished or cut off. Positivity, hope, joy, lightness of being and more are the manifestations of a healthy spirit and so is a healthy mind. All this good stuff fuels the mind to create positive, hopeful and healthy thinking. When this fuel source is limited or cut off the mind shrinks back on itself and starts to suffer starvation. This starvation is the provenance of dark thoughts and negative self destructive thinking and the individual feels constantly under attack from their own mind.
As humans we need to understand the mind is a tool of our being. It is an extension to help us live in the physical world and it gets its fuel from the spirit which is the centre of who we are – not the other way around. If our spirits are sick and weak so will be our minds. It is just common sense.