You come too, your eyes open and once again your conscious. The light of the day hits you with it’s cold empty reminder that you exist outside it’s goodness. Your gut churns as remorse, regret and despair, all cemented together with a large dose of self pity starts to permeate your emotional landscape. You close your eyes again willing with all your might to retreat back into the safety of unconsciousness. But you can’t go back to sleep. Your mind has started up, and like a faithful factory line, it churns out fatalistic negative thoughts, one after the other, of past, present and future making it impossible to find rest…. It’s Another Day.
Gaping empty chasm …
Throughout the day you live in a solid glass prison that cuts you off from the rest of humanity you meet. You don’t feel the same as they look and act. Inside you there is a gaping empty chasm where your spirit should be. It’s like being a walking zombie husk without the scary looks and funny walk. Your mind races over the well-worn rut of why you are like the way you are. What did you miss when growing up? Did you commit some awful crime against the universe that you can’t remember? WHAT THE F’#$ IS WRONG WITH ME? You ask yourself for the trillionth time.
There Is No Escape From You
Marinated in self pity, (and why not), you are painfully tied to how it feels to be you. If you have not tried already, you look to substances for relief like alcohol, sleeping pills, or you get involved in process addictions such as gambling, shopping and others. You might even turn to way-out-there religious practises or transcendental meditation to escape your reality. But nothing works. The emptiness always prevails. Existential angst combined with deep dissatisfaction plague your waking moments and you can’t find anywhere inside that offers even a glimmer of solace. The closest you can come to being human is to fake it. You fake affection and love, you fake being nice and ok. It’s as if you were dropped off on the wrong planet by mistake and your real home is somewhere else far, far away.
Loneliness and isolation abound…
All the above are an example of what it can be like having a hole in the soul. The middle of you is missing, you just know it. It’s the part of you that feels joy, contentment and a connection to life. It’s simply not there. It might have been at one point in your life, but it is not anymore and when you are missing this essential ingredient of being alive you definitely know it. The world is a very lonely place for someone that finds themselves suffering from this inner spiritual void. Presenting symptoms similar to a form of depression, a hole in the soul, as this spiritual emptiness is often described, can be very difficult for our medical and psychoanalytic community to diagnose and treat. This adds further to the sense of hopelessness a sufferer of this spiritual malady experiences.
An anchorless existence ….
When the centre of you is blocked off from life a dreadful isolation envelopes the whole of your being and fills you with a loneliness and despair known only to those that have experienced this spiritual separation. Everything, apart from drug or delusion induced escape, feels meaningless and empty. The fruits-of-the-tree of a person with a hole in the soul clearly show an anchorless existence such as lots of jobs, a history of broken relationships and even multiple places of living. Persistence, commitment and stability are untenable as these qualities are fuelled by a sense of purpose which a person with the hole in their middle does not possess.
Solution For A Hole In The Soul
There is a solution to this hopeless dilemma of the empty self and that is one of spirituality. By following some simple spiritual (not religious) suggestions one can start to feel relief from the abyss of despair within. When you have come to the end, and exhausted all your ideas and means of remedy to no avail, then you will be ready to take the first step towards freedom. Click here to view spiritual tools used by people to escape the prison of self and walk into the light of joy, happiness and light.